Some Quick Thoughts on Child's Play (2019)

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I am currently planning out the logistics of my next cosplay, so this is gonna be a quick one! I am not seeing the new Child's Play movie. I have nothing against reboots or remakes. I also think this movie is going to be very good.


I like Aubrey Plaza a lot, and I'm sure by now it's obvious how I feel about comedians and horror. Lights Out was incredibly stupid compared to the short film, however, Gabriel Bateman was good as Martin. I'm excited to see them act together.
 Mark Hamil is the greatest living voice actor. Honestly, he's the GOAT. I feel like that's not even a debate. I look up to him because I too aspire to be a professional video game villain. That's why I cosplay as Mileena from Mortal Kombat. I personally don't feel like Chucky's voice is iconic enough to have to put it to rest if the original person didn't want to do it anymore. I don't think Brad Dourif is a bad voice actor. I just don't find Chucky's voice as iconic as like....Freddy or Mufasa.

I would have no problem with a new Chucky movie if....and this is a big IF.

IF the original franchise was not still going strong! I'll be the first to admit, Child's Play has had some stinkers. However, the series is going in a good direction. I have always admired Child's Play's ability to be silly and thrilling at the same time. However, there is a completely different reboot script out there written by Don Mancini. It's different from the OG series because it's scary and dark. I've never read the script, so I don't know if it is scary for me. I'm not afraid of dolls. And trust me, if I had girls instead of boys, my house would be full of them. Instead, my 40th anniversary Barbie lives in my closet.
 Anyway, they wrote a script, that had the intentions of Brad voicing Chucky. This was in 2007. Brad Dourif, Don Mancini, and Jennifer Tilly have all spoken against what's being released. It gives me a really gross feeling.

And, this is a petty, non legit reason. But this movie is not distributed by Universal Pictures. I already wrote about my hopes for Dark Universe. But, time has passed, and I think they are kind of over it. I think that it would have been super cool if we had a modern day dark universe with contemporary characters like Chucky. More "new" Dark Universal characters could be: "Adelaide Thomas", Michael Myers, Krampus, (rebooted) Candyman, and Kevin/The Horde. They already have Halloween Horror Nights. Hell, that could be the introduction to the New Dark Universe.
I'm not going to pretend that I'm never going to see this. I'll probably buy it on amazon when it comes out. I love horror, and even though I dislike the choices they made, I still like Chucky as a character. And look, I don't even want an Alexa in my house and I'm pretty sure that I have properly deactivated Siri. I have seen 2001 A Space Oddysey and Wall*E too many times to trust AI. My grandma bought my son's an AI puppy from Best Buy and the batteries always "go missing". So, I do like the premise of the film because, mark my words, this is gonna happen one day. Self driving cars have already killed people! New Chucky as a doll is not scary....or cute. Like, I could see why Andy's mom got Chucky in the original film, because he was cute. A lil Ron Howard! This guy however, I know I quote Rihanna a lot but...This is the most ghetto sh*t I've seen in my life. It reminds me of why I can't find Annabelle scary. It's too over the top, who would bring that in their house?
Actually you know who would bring Annabelle and New Chucky into their home? ME! To scare my kids into behaving if they were bad, which they are not. IDK the specifics of New Andy's mom buying the Buddi Doll, but hopefully, it's the classic case of ordering something for the cheap online and getting a terrible version of what you purchased in the mail.

I just can't go see it in theaters. I take things like this seriously! As a writer, this is my worst nightmare. I could not imagine spending over THIRTY years crafting something and having it taken away like that. I won't be seeing the movie in theaters, but I will be watching the upcoming Child's Play television show that is airing on SCI-FY in 2020!

And for the record, I liked Cult of Chucky. It's a fun movie! You're all just boring.

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