BIG WITCH ENERGY

In my post about The Twilight Zone, I mentioned how I wanted to be a ballerina when I was younger. I didn't go into detail about why I did not pursue my childhood dreams. I probably won't, but I will say that Suspiria had a few people thinking twice about being dancers! Even though I am not one of those people, I do totally get it.The original Italian horror classic is scary as sh*t. It has so many of the things I like...prog rock, witches, ballet, trilogies, Italian style horror (Giallo), Disney inspired color schemes (Snow White), ect ect ect.
I personally did not have high hopes for this remake. How do you remake something so unique and iconic? I still feel burned by Maleficent as a Sleeping Beauty remake. I know it's been a long time in the "film world", but Maleficent was originally pitched as a remake with a Tim Burton-esque edge to it. I never forgot that, and when the movie came out, I was very disappointed. When it came to Suspiria, I expected it to be kind of like Maleficent, there would be a ~reason~ for "evil".

I honestly don't feel like this was a remake of Suspiria. It was a Remix. I think it took the best parts of the original and made it their own. While it was kind of sad to not see the Mario Bava inspired cinematography, I appreciated that they didn't try and shot for shot remake everything. They did this with Psycho and it did not work at all!


This visually feels like a completely different film, and I think that is okay. I actually find it great. Not sure if this is a "just me" thing, but I felt like there was less blood in the 2018 version. Maybe it is because that bright, bright red was missing. I don't think everything has to be gory, obviously. But, it was something I was kind of looking forward too. Even thought the blood wasn't like, in your face blood like the OG ; there are definitely very, very disturbing moments where a literal lake of blood was not needed to freak you out!


I could see why people would dislike the cold, kind of wintery colors that were used instead of what the original had going on. I think that the film's color palette fits very well with the time period they were going for this time. When I think of 1977 Germany, I don't think of rich primary colors, I think of separation and sadness. I think that's why they chose to film in the direction they did. I was a tad let down at the fashions. Italian style is so timeless, and ballerinas outside of doing ballet are one of my style icons. I loved how everyone was dressed in the original. I felt like the clothes in the new movie were kind of boring. In the new one, I did like the red outfits the dancers were wearing during that uh...Ceremony.

 They keep on insisting that Dakota Johnson is a style icon, yet her clothes were boring.Personally, I felt like Dakota Johnson didn't have the "delicateness" that Jessica Harper originally brought to Suzy's character. I don't know how I feel about it, tbh! It is the biggest reason I don't feel like this was necessarily a remake. It was a remix. I know a lot of people found the movie to be boring and pointless. I kind of agree. Even though I did like the movie; I did leave the theater asking myself who this movie was supposed to be for. I did not find Suspiria boring, but I did feel there was a bit to much going on. Post war guilt, the abuse of power, mourning, suffering, women incapable of getting along lmao....okay, that last one was a joke.


Speaking of boring, I have only seen parts of Fifty Shades of Grey. So, I didn't know what to expect from Dakota Johnson. I didn't think she was a bad actress at all, so I don't know where the dislike of her was coming from. I don't think that it's fair to judge someone based on one performance. Especially if they aren't given a lot to work with. Fifty Shades of Grey is actually Twilight fan fiction that went to far. I'm not making that up. That's literally what it is. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were unfairly judged on their acting in Twilight. They played those characters the way they were written. Both actors went on to be successful in other movies.The same is happening to Dakota Johnson. Pretty cool thing to think about: Dakota Johnson's grandmother is Tippi Hedren, best known as Melanie from the movie The Birds!I thought everyone did well with what they were given.
I was happy to see Chole Grace Moretz in this movie because I think she is our modern day scream queen. I'm excited to see her in other horror movies. Another person that had me excited was Alek Wek, who is more known in the modeling world. We need more black girls in horror! Also, I found out Alek is in her early forties????? She needs to leak her skincare routine, because I, a woman who clearly has no concept of time, thought she was my age.

Overall, I think in order to enjoy Suspiria, you need to do three things.
1. Idk what the opposite of checking your attitude at the door is, but you have to do that. Put on your snobbiest airs, and talk about how you "get it". This is one of ~those~ movies. You know when actors do the absolute most? Tilda Swinton does that times three.
2. Familiarize yourself with Thom Yorke's work (Radiohead, Atoms For Peace, Solo artist). I think if you know about his music outside of "Creep" the score and soundtrack can be appreciated more. I think I love Radiohead more than Consequence of Sound does so this was not hard for me.
3. See the first movie again. This is not a perfect remake, but I do think you will have a deeper appreciation from the movie if you can recollect the source material. If you have not seen the original Suspiria, it's available for free on Tubi!



This is not a movie that I can recommend to the average viewer because..it's not fun. I don't like telling people to see movies that they have to prepare for. I don't mean in like a brace yourself, this movie will make you think kind of way. Cuz, I can talk about The Shining for hours. But I mean, you should have to work so hard to familiarize yourself with a movie before seeing it UNLESS it's a movie in a film series. I actually fear this is the same fate Artemis Fowl is going to suffer from as well. It's one thing to watch a movie and get immersed in the lore after seeing the movie. Some good movies with a lot of cool lore are The Mothman Prophecies, The Skeleton Key, and The Cabin in the Woods. These movies are fun to watch because you can know everything about the subject, or nothing about the subject and the movie is still enjoyable. I feel like there is a bit of snobbery attached to this film, which makes it not for everyone. I liked it, but I don't really think this is a film everyone needs to see.